I often think about this one time, a few years ago, when my partner and I were searching for a place to rent. One of the apartments we looked at was beautiful. It was spacious—unusually so—with slick, wooden floorboards that made you feel like you were in a ballet studio. There were two bathrooms, one on each end, and a ceiling-to-floor mirror in each bedroom. It was exactly within budget, a perfect location. However, when we left, we both agreed to leave it. “There’ll be loads of interest,” one of us said. “So what’s the point?” The flat, we’d decided, was too good for us. We didn’t want to be rejected.
While the choice was hardly life-altering, I’ve often thought about it as an allegory for my relationship to rejection more generally. Not to sound like the type of person who does TED Talks or appears on business podcasts, but how many other opportunities have potentially passed me by because I was too scared of that little two-letter word, no? How many times have I narrowed the opportunities right in front of me because I didn’t feel good enough to consider them? And what’s so frightening about the mere threat of rejection, anyway? It’s a simple “no”—not a beheading. And sometimes, of course, it’s a yes.
It was in the dead period between Christmas and the New Year that I started being fed endless TikToks about “seeking rejection.” Why would anyone do that? I thought, mindlessly scrolling, mouth probably open. Surely that would make you feel like shit. But I did find myself becoming increasingly intrigued. This one woman, Gabriella, had spent the year trying to be rejected 1,000 times. In among the rejections were quite a few surprising moments in which she’d received a yes. She’d tried to be rejected for a national pageant title, “but they accepted me. So now I’m a national pageant title holder.” She’d tried to be rejected for a Dutch passport, “but they accepted me, so now I’m a Dutch citizen.” “Let this be your sign,” she concluded. “Chase rejection.”
Others quickly followed suit. “In 2026, I’m trying to get rejected 1,000 times,” said one woman, Henrietta. “I’m so scared of failure, and I’m so scared of rejection, that a lot of times I don’t put myself out there.” Another poster, Leila, also seeking rejection, asked a random stranger if she wanted to share a dessert with her. The stranger said yes, and the two of them teared into some Nutella cookies together. The cynical among us (me) might think that all of this sounds a bit “self-help by influencers,” a bit “late-stage capitalism.” But I do think there are some lessons to be gleaned among the slop. Namely: the more you ask, the more you actually experience. It’s basic math.
Seeking rejection, or rejection therapy, isn’t a new concept—although it has found new popularity. The author Jia Jiang has based his entire career around the idea, with best-sellers like 2015’s Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection and TED Talks like “What I Learned From 100 Days Of Rejection,” which has been viewed more than 6.5 million times. A big part of me balks at the idea of gamifying my life in pursuit of success—not every choice needs to be made in order to “maximize my gains.” But again, I think you can take doses of an idea without buying into it entirely. Like, maybe I don’t need to seek one million rejections and totally debase myself in the process, but putting myself forward for things more often can only be a good thing. What’s the worst that can happen? Hearing no?
#Seeking #Rejection #Year
