72 Thoughts I Had While Watching ‘The Pitt’ Season 2, Episode 2

While some feel that God placed them on this mortal coil to become doctors and lessen the suffering of others, I, on the other hand, feel that God made me specifically to recap hospital shows.

While I’d love to be filling you in on the goings-on from Season 257 of Grey’s Anatomy (yes, it’s still on! Yes, I still watch!), HBO Max’s The Pitt is definitely the medical drama to keep up with right now if you want anything to talk about with your coworkers on Slack on Friday morning. Below, find quite literally every thought I had about Season 2, Episode 2 of The Pitt.

1. What’s going on with Dr. Al-Hashimi? Why is she so depressed about this baby?
2. I mean…to be fair, it’s an abandoned baby receiving emergency medical treatment, so maybe that’s why.
3. Speaking of depressing, I forgot about this child abuse case 🙁
4. Robby on one’s gut: “It’s this thing that AI will never have.” Get its non-sentient ass, king!
5. Aw, Robby singing Santos’s praises makes me happy.
6. Justice for Trinity Santos, my Pitt lesbian of choice!
7. Do we think McKay’s hair is dark now because Fiona Dourif had to dye it for a different role, or is McKay herself just trying something new?
8. These are the kinds of things I think about!
9. Ew, blood.
10. Again, God simply did not build me for this (witnessing blood, even on my TV screen).
11. It’s really kind of crazy how much stuff doctors are expected to just…know.
12. Okay, ortho shade! Put some respect on Dr. Callie Torres’s good name!
13. Aw, Louie.
14. Louie is a better man than me for being willing to have the “student doctors” work on him.
15. Like, yes, they “have to learn sometime,” but I was still displeased about having a med student in my last OB-GYN visit. (Yes, I could have opted out of having her there entirely, but I fear confrontation and would rather just bitch about it online.)
16. Oh God, did this dumb, dumb girl glue her eye shut with false-eyelash glue?
17. Oh my GOD, she used super glue?????
18. I do want Langdon taking care of me in that scenario (which I flatter myself to think I would never be in, but then again, I did just smash a precious framed photo after hanging it in my apartment using a pushpin, so…maybe I’m not a genius either).
19. Dana sighting! Everybody drink!
20. Need to see Dana and Santos queening out over espresso martinis, stat.
21. I love Javadi’s subtle and nervous cockiness, but it would also annoy the hell out of me if I actually worked with her.
22. I’m addicted to saying, “That’s my name!” everytime someone introduces Emma the student nurse.
23. Mmm. Maggots in cast. Cool.
24. I don’t love how everyone is talking to this unhoused guy, but I guess it’s…accurate to how most health care providers operate?
25. Personally, I don’t feel we entirely needed that last maggot close-up.
26. “I am the O.R.!” Garcia, be my wife.
27. I hate when the verb “pop” is applied to the human body.
28. Not to mention the sound effect!
29. OMG, Al-Hashimi, cut Mel a break and pretend you’ve been named in a lawsuit to fit in! She’s clearly spiraling.
30. I love when Supriya Ganesh and Shabana Azeez, famous besties, have scenes together 🙂
31. Look at Santos, clocking other people’s emotions!
32. Not Mel getting flirted with by this bad boy and not noticing. I love her!
33. God, I want to be at the Renaissance Faire with Mel so bad.
34. Oh shit, bad boy indeed, because he just knocked Mel over while fleeing the cops.
35. If this were Grey’s, one of these doctors would simply adopt this abandoned baby, but we’re at the Pitt E.R., so there’s an actual process to things.
36. I need Al-Hashimi to be a little less horny for generative AI, and then I can freely stan her.
37. Mel and Langdon inside-joking around…oh, we are so back.
38. Bro, is Robby dating this extremely hot nurse?
39. McKay seems as confused as I am.
40. Why are you leaving town when you have a gorgeous new girlfriend, Robby?
41. “Okay, big girl.” We love a Dana read, don’t we, folks?
42. I love that Langdon keeps trying to chop it up with everyone about his drug problem, but I don’t think he’s quite reading the room with Mel.
43. I deeply believe in decriminalization of all drugs and societal support and interpersonal care for all people who use them, but… saying your drug use never affected your work when you literally stole meds from a patient you were treating is crazy work, Langdon!
44. Not too much on my girl Mel now, legally speaking; she’s already named in a lawsuit!!!!!!
45. I love that medical personnel on this show are actually seen using Purell.
46. Okay, is this a gen-AI ad now, or…?
47. Oh, LOL, the gen-AI is immediately caught making a mistake. Slay.
48. Anyone mind if a white boy speaks a little Farsi?
49. Are they just… going to keep breaking this dementia patient’s heart by telling her that her husband died, over and over?
50. I mean, I’m no gerontologist, but is this advisable?
51. This small child is literally more of a trooper about having her blood drawn than I tend to be, humiliatingly enough.
52. Actually, the last time I got my blood drawn, the RN and I talked about Lorde the whole time, and it really made the pain fade.
53. If med student Ogilvie has no haters, I am dead.
54. I like Joy, though.
55. Clearly Javadi skipped all of elementary school, because if she hadn’t, she’d know that the quickest way to get a permanent nickname is to let the person who’s bestowed it on you know that it bothers you.
56. In other words: hush, Crash!
57. Yay, someone at HBO seemingly took my note about closed captions always covering the Tagalog subtitles and preventing me from knowing what Princess and Perlah are gossiping about.
58. Bacon grease??? Down the drain??? No!!!
59. I mean, unless you’re renting and your landlord sucks 🤫.
60. Santos getting emotionally over-involved in her potential child abuse patient’s case is very real, and very sad.
61. I really hope I go my whole life without ever having to Heimlich someone.
62. Or be Heimliched, for that matter.
63. Robby and Al-Hashimi…enemies to lovers? Or just enemies?
64. Wow, this priapism storyline is…vividly illustrated.
65. As is this broccoli-in-the-throat removal procedure.
66. To quote Charli XCX: Yuck.
67. I fully thought I just heard Robby say, “That is why you do ketamine alone,” and was like, not very safe-use of him!
68. Woke may be dead, but at least Robby is still backtracking on workplace innuendos.
69. “I feel like I’m having a spa day.” Louie, we love you! I’m not even this good-humored on an actual spa day.
70. Oh, Al-Hashimi and your patient passports. You deserve better!
71. Seriously, Robby is really giving “that one jackoff you work with” this season.
72. Someone really does need a sabatical!